Comparison.
What an ugly word. How intimidating, accusing, and vile it sounds to me.
A bit of insight to me here. I have struggled with comparison for as long as I can remember. I am so very confident, and since I was very young I have refused to show weakness (or what I thought was weakness) in admitting that I don’t feel completely whole in and of myself. Spoiler alert, it’s normal. God is the only thing that can complete us.
I’m getting ahead of myself.
Comparison is a struggle and it is something that is not only visual. It can come from your imagination, from a conversation, from an interaction. It can begin with a flaw or a doubt hidden in the deepest part of your mind and it can fester its way to the forefront. A flaw you may see in your strength, in your softness, in your maturity, in your personality, in your abilities, or simply in the echo you leave in this world.
Maybe you see comparison in all of the ways you think you could be loving someone better.
However it happens, it happens. And it’s normal, and I get it because I live it.
Furthermore, the 17th of February was the beginning of Lent. I have never practiced Lent before, but God evidently as ever, placed it upon my heart this year. He is calling me towards a life without comparison. A life in which the enemy is not constantly screaming at me that I am either too much or not enough.
So I am placing comparison at the feet of the Father. Letting Him do what He will with these forty days and all of the days to come.
Having never practiced Lent, I decided to do some research.
For those of you who are not completely clear on Lent, biblestudy.org defines it as “an annual period of religious fasting and penitence. It is observed starting on Ash Wednesday and ending on the Saturday before Easter.
The 40 days of Lent (not including Sundays) denote a time of personal introspection and self-denial meant to prepare a person to properly celebrate Easter. It is a season endorsed and practiced primarily by Roman Catholics, but also by Lutherans, Methodists, Presbyterians, and other groups.”
Letting go of comparison is not a physical form of fasting, obviously, but it is fasting all the same. The awful habit of comparison that I have, has been put above God, and the purpose of extracting it from my life cold turkey for 40 days is to put God above my flesh.
To put into practice the fact that the Father is greater than any flaw I may have.
However, I am not perfect. Therefore any type of growth I may reach for, I must also have grace with myself. If I mess up, it is not the end of the world, and it does not mean I must hit a restart button on my faith or my relationship with God. This goes for all aspects of faith.
I am a perfectionist. A difficult concept for me in the past has been the fact that even though I am saved, I am still human. I still mess up and that is the truth. Part of living with the Spirit is living in truth. To live in truth, I must admit my weaknesses because they are very real.
2 Corinthians 12 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
There is strength in revealing my weaknesses to Jesus. Truly admitting that you aren’t perfect, brings raw authenticity and intimacy to any and every relationship that is cultivated in your life. Not just saying it and pretending to accept it, but truly revealing your weaknesses and letting someone accept every single one.
Jesus will accept every single one.
Yours,
Landry<3
I can’t give words for how much it means to me that you’ve read this far!!!
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